This week 16 Afghan civilians, including 9 children and 3 women, were killed. A U.S. solider is accused of the murders. This horror is shocking. We cannot begin to imagine the grief of Abdul Samad, a 60 year old man, who returned home to find 11 of his family members dead – shot, stabbed, and burned. We cannot imagine the damaged, wounded soul that could perpetrate such a killing spree.
In Psalm 19, there is a plea for forgiveness. The desire is to be completely cleansed and healed of all wrong. The prayer even extends to those sins we have not even recognized in ourselves. Here are three different versions of verse 12:
But who can detect one’s own failings?
Forgive the misdeeds I don’t even know about!
[The Inclusive Language Bible: The First Egalitarian Translation]
Who can be aware of errors?
Clear me of unperceived guilt.
[The Jewish Study Bible: Tanakh Translation]
But who can detect their errors?
Clear me from hidden faults.
[New Revised Standard Version]
Misdeeds I don’t even know about. Unperceived guilt. Hidden faults. The psalm invites us to engage in serious, deep, reflection about our lives, our behaviors, our thoughts and attitudes. This is encouragement to really dig down deep and excavate what is separating us from others, God, and our truest selves.
Sunday evening I heard former President Jimmy Carter interviewed on the Tavis Smiley Show about a new Bible that features Carter’s comments and reflections. In the conversation, Carter said that the most prominent sin in his opinion is pride. He defined pride as thinking that we are more than someone else, better than another, seeing ourselves as superior and others as lower than we are. Carter feels this contributes to many of the problems we have in the world. I agree. To engage in reflection about the misdeeds we don’t know about, our unperceived guilt, and our hidden faults might lead us to discover the sin of pride buried deep with, or maybe even close to the surface of our thoughts and feelings.
To see the misdeeds we don’t know about, our unperceived guilt, and our hidden faults may require that we try to see ourselves, our actions, our words, and our choices, from the perspective of others. This involves the challenge of perceiving ourselves as others perceive us. It involves examining the consequences of our actions that we may not be readily aware of. One morning as I was getting dressed, I put my phone conspicuously on the bed where it could easily be seen and found. I went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast, then got my things together for the day. I remembered my phone. I looked on the bed. No phone. Not in my pocket. Not in my purse. What had I done with it? I looked around the house. Searched. On the table. On the desk. On the dresser. On the counter. In the bathrobe pocket. No phone. I was frustrated, angry, and late. I did not want to leave without my phone. Finally I found it. On the bed. But one of my family members had tossed a shirt on the bed. Yes, you guessed it. Right on top of the phone. Didn’t he see the phone? It was only when I was searching through the bedding and the clothes on top of the bed that I found it. When I found the phone, I wondered to myself, how many times have I done some mindless act (tossing a shirt on the bed) and inadvertently caused a problem, an inconvenience or worse for someone else and not even known that I had done it. Just a small thing and not even realized the consequences for someone else. To think about our hidden faults involves being really thorough and taking responsibility even when we don’t know about the wrong we have done.
To see the misdeeds we don’t know about, our unperceived guilt, and our hidden faults may also involve coming to terms with our complicity in society and social institutions that are not just or fair and that do harm to others. As U.S. citizens, we are part of what our government does – good and bad. We are part of the economy. We are part of the global warming problem. We are part of the education crisis. And we are part of the military involvements of our country. I can understand how Mr. Samad, the villager from Afghanistan, could reach the conclusion that the Americans should leave his country.
While it may seem unpalatable to examine the misdeeds we don’t know about, our unperceived guilt, and our hidden faults, we want to remember that the point of repentance is not suffering but healing. The more thorough our reflection and honesty, the more we experience the cleansing grace of God, the more we become whole.
Consider setting some time aside (at the Oasis of Quiet at church on Sunday evening?), maybe even with a pencil and paper, and think about the healing you need for the misdeeds you don’t know about, your unperceived guilt, and your hidden faults. It can be very freeing to seek the truth and not be entangled in lies and misperceptions and inadvertent deceit.
Prayer
We are grateful to be part of a faith tradition that emphasizes forgiveness and grace. Mercy is offered for all of our sins, even pride and those we are not readily aware of. Repentance frees us from the burden of keeping up appearances and trying to maintain a facade of false goodness while hiding our failings. May we not only seek the forgiveness we need but may we free others by offering forgiveness and grace. Our healing is not only in the forgiveness we receive but also in the forgiveness we give. May Jesus be our guide in this and all things. Amen.
Lakewood United Church of Christ 