Lenten Reflection 3.31.12

In his memoir, True Compass, Ted Kennedy reflects on the incident at Chappaquiddick. He does not rehash the actual event, but he does discuss his feelings about the tragedy and its aftermath. As one point, Kennedy writes,

“I had suffered many losses during my life. I had lost all of my brothers and my sister Kathleen. My father had been lost to me in many respects because of his debilitating stroke. And now this horrible accident. But again, the difference this time was that I myself was responsible. I was driving. Yes, it was an accident. But that doesn’t erase the fact that I had caused an innocent woman’s death.

“Atonement is a process that never ends. I believe that. Maybe it’s a New England thing, or an Irish thing, or a Catholic thing. Maybe all of those things. But it’s as it should be.” [page 292]

Kennedy never forgot that terrible tragedy, and it haunted him every day of his life. But as he said, atonement is a process.

I think sometimes when we seek forgiveness from God or someone else, we want a magical “zap” that vaporizes the whole grisly experience. That’s not how sin works. We do things that harm others, ourselves, the world, and we feel regret and remorse. We do our best to repent and reconcile. Yet the memory is with us. Maybe that memory keeps us from committing the same wrong again. Maybe it reminds us of our humanity. Maybe it makes us more sympathetic to others. Maybe it reminds us of divine forgiveness. Maybe it is a sign of transformation in some way that continues to give us hope. But we don’t forget. So atonement becomes a process.

Maybe the writer of Psalm 51 continues to pray the psalm each and every day. A reminder of God’s deliverance. Remembering where he was and how far he has come, thanks to God.

Perhaps if we see forgiveness of a sin(s) as a one time over and done episode, we are disappointed that our memory revisits the situation over and over. But maybe there is value in the remembering. Atonement is a process. That may make it an even more precious gift.

Prayer
It is said that only God can forgive and forget. We can only forgive. May we cherish our memories of forgiveness we have received and give thanks for the new life that has come to us in the process. May we cherish the forgiveness we have given so that our capacity for compassion and grace continues to grow. Amen.