Author: lakewooducc

This scripture lesson from Proverbs has always disturbed me.  It reads like a want ad for a bride in the late 1800’s or early 1900’s when men sought brides through agencies in Eastern Europe or Asia.  

I’d like a wife like that!  Can we imagine an ad for a husband that is as comprehensive?  Business skills.  Childrearing skills.  Household management skills.  Generous, compassionate temperament.  Community involvement.  Help for the needy.  

We can hardly imagine a job description for a husband like that!

Now before we move on, I want to mention several things.  The book of Proverbs was written with young men on the verge of marriage and adulthood in mind.  [The New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary, vol. 3, p. 941.]. So, this description of a woman of virtue was meant to be in high praise of women.  It was meant to extol the many facets of the assets of women beyond physical beauty and sex appeal.  So, for its time, this description of a virtuous woman really was meant to expand the appreciation of women.  

And yet, we know the problems with these elevated expectations.  Women are now welcome in the work force, though their pay is not commensurate with men.  But as it turns out, they still are responsible for the majority of home management and childrearing responsibilities.  

Men are doing much more than they used to, even when I was a young adult.  I see my son and son in law doing laundry, cooking, picking up the children from day care, cleaning, and I am glad to see their involvement in the household.  

But a reaction to the emancipation of women and men all being able to function freely in the home and in the workplace and in society is the emergence of toxic masculinity.  Men who feel threatened and victimized and who want their power and privilege back and who want women to work for them again.  They don’t want to see the abuse, the limitations, the problems with the old system.  

Last week we went to see the opera ‘Carmen’ written by Georges Bizet in 1875.  In the opening scene of the opera, the townspeople and the local cadre of soldiers are in the plaza and the women from the cigarette factory emerge at the end of their shift.  Well, the soldiers, especially, are all over the women.  It was pretty hard to watch from the perspective of today’s sensibilities.  Our daughter who was at the opera with us pronounced the behavior of the men gross and scary.  I’m with her.  

This is not part of the heritage of our faith, this degradation and abuse of women.  From the evidence we have in the New Testament, we know that Jesus very much encouraged women to be freed of the limitations placed upon them by society and religion.  There were women leaders in the early church.  Women disciples.  Women who taught and healed and preached, just like the men.  But the men of the Jesus movement had a hard time accepting that and worked to confine the roles of women in the decades after Jesus’ death.  

So what does our faith offer as encouragement for those who seek to share the love of God in a fatherly way today?  These may be actual biological fathers, or those who are in a fathering role in the lives of children and young people, and let me echo what Christy has put on the Father’s Day bulletin board.  A father’s role is extremely important to the development of young people and there are so many children who do not have a significant male presence in their lives.  

So, since it is Trinity Sunday, I have a trinitarian structure for thinking about the important role of men today as fathers and father figures.  In our traditional concept of the Trinity, three ways of imagining God, we start with God as creator, as in Genesis, the first book of the Bible.   God as the force and imagination behind all that is, the cosmos, the earth, the web of life, all of nature.  The whole system that keeps us alive.  So for father figures today, I suggest as a first principle, PROVIDE.  Provide for the children and the young people.  Provide material necessities, yes.  Housing, food, clothing, diapers, safety.  Provide healthcare.  And school supplies.  And creative afterschool activities and lessons.  Yes, but also provide emotional support.  Provide moral guidance. Provide a faith foundation.  Spiritual teaching.  Something that can be counted on throughout life.  Provide resources and ideas.  Provide a good example.  Of how to live a modest life while giving and sharing with others.  Be an example of generosity and work for justice so that everyone can be provided for.  So, a father figure needs to be a provider and that does’t stop with money.  

In our traditional conception of the Trinity, the second part of the Trinity is Christ Jesus.  And one thing that Jesus did was to protect people – from hunger, from sickness, and from bad, harmful ideas and behaviors.  So, a father figure also needs to PROTECT children and youth.  Yes, see that they are safe.  That they are not vulnerable to violence.  Or to abuse.  Or disease.  Protect children from bullying.  From them being preyed upon by consumerism.  A father needs to protect children from being indoctrinated with racism and sexism and homophobia.  Children need to be protected from ethnocentrism and looking down on others because of who they are.   Children need to be protected from thinking they are better than others, and from thinking they are less than others.  Children and young people need to be protected from drugs and from false information and from abusive relationships. They need to be protected from the already damaging and harmful affects of global warming and climate change.   Children also need to know that all children and young people, indeed all people, deserve to be protected from harm, however it may come.  It is never ok to harm another person or the Earth.  All deserve protection.  While many of us don’t have to worry about old fashioned concerns like our child being kicked by a horse or contracting polio, there are still many things that can harm a young person today, so a father figure is needed to provide protection in a variety of ways. 

In our traditional view of the Trinity, the third expression of the Trinity is Spirit, Sophia, a feminine aspect to the Trinity.  And this aspect is portrayed in scripture as present at creation, enjoying the delights of creation, and enlivening the human spirit created in the image of God.  So, the last of the three factors important to expressing fathering love that we will discuss today is PLAY.  This also goes with Jesus’ reputation as someone who was known for eating and drinking and partying with his friends.  Play.  Fathers need to make sure that their children know how to play.  How to enjoy themselves and others and have fun.   Parents need to make sure to teach children to approach the natural world with awe and wonder.  Fathers need to model having fun, taking pleasure in hobbies or other interests.  Fathers need to make sure children know that we are here for more than work.  We are here to enjoy this wonderful life and to take pleasure in the world around us and the creativity we have to share.  The Spirit reminds us of the need to play.

So, my holy Trinity for Father’s Day is Provide, Protect, and Play.   Our well being, our future, our joy cannot be magically handed to us by one exceptional parent.  Even someone as spectacular as the valiant woman of Proverbs!  

The job of a valiant father is to provide, protect, and play.  With all the children in his life, and the children of the world.  So may all adults care for all children.  Amen.  

A reasonable effort has been made to appropriately cite materials referenced in this sermon. For additional information, please contact Lakewood United Church of Christ.