Category: Kim’s Blog

“Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, ‘Send everyone away from me.’ So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers.” Genesis 45:1

After Joseph’s brothers come to Egypt, he sends them home, with grain, and without one brother. Unbeknownst to them, he also sends their money home with them that they brought to pay for the grain. Later they go back to Egypt bringing the youngest brother and the money from the first go round as well as more money and gifts. And Joseph sends them back with grain, with their money, and with a goblet planted in the pack of the youngest brother. Then a guard goes after them and confronts them about the cup. They all return to Joseph and Judah offers to remain in place of his younger brother. Finally, Joseph reveals his identity and everything is exposed.

All these machinations. The return of the money. The insistence on seeing the younger brother. The planting of the cup. Somehow Joseph seems to be ensuring that the brothers are beholden to him. That they are in his debt. That he has intimidated them so that he has the upper hand. Why would he bother with all of this. Why did he not just reveal his identity to his brothers when they first came to Egypt? One reason I think is that he wanted some time to think things over. But I think that he goes through all the other machinations to get them in his debt and under his power because he is afraid that they still hate him and that they will not receive him and reconcile with him unless he has some leverage over them. So he gains that leverage. Later we learn that they have the same fear: That he only reconciled with them because of the father, but once the father is gone, he will no longer have any sympathy for them. And they are all wrong. The brothers and Joseph are all sincerely repentant and desirous of undoing the wrong that has been done.

I think we, too, let fear bind us when we are having difficulty in a relationship. We think we need to protect ourselves from the hostility of the other; hostility which may not even exist. We presume this for self protection. We know how to put up a screen of defensiveness, of protection, keeping another at bay trying to prevent ourselves from being hurt. But that attitude may also prevent the healing of the relationship. The wall we put up for protection may also become a wall of division, a rift, an ending of contact.

Lent is a time to think about how we are assuming the hostility and animosity of others which may not even be there. We can also reflect on how others may be defending themselves against perceived hostility from us.

Prayer
We are called to be honest and wholehearted. This also makes us vulnerable. Vulnerability can lead to intimacy and beautiful friendships and connections. It can also lead to hurt and pain. May we take the risk to be truly honest with ourselves and others. Amen.

“Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, ‘Send everyone away from me.’ So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. Joseph said to his brothers, ‘I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?’ But his brothers could not answer him, so dismayed were they at his presence.” Genesis 45: 1-3, NRSV

In the story of Joseph, we are told that Joseph is favored by his father. We are told of the lies the brothers tell the father about Joseph’s death. We hear about how the father sends the brothers to get food from Egypt. The father continues to direct the negotiations between the brothers and Pharaoh. In the scene when Joseph finally discloses his identity to his brothers, he asks about his father. Didn’t Joseph have a mother? What about the mother?

This story comes from a time when men were the main players, men told the stories, and men wrote the stories. It was a man’s world. That was a cultural dimension of the presentation of the religious tradition that we have inherited. It is not part of the core of our faith. Male dominance is not a core value of Christianity. Yet many expressions of Christianity have treated male dominance as a core teaching of Christianity instead of part of the cultural context in which Christianity emerged.

We see this merging of patriarchy and Christianity in the treatment of women in the church and the limitations placed on women’s leadership in the church, especially around the ordination of women. The fact that the church has held on to this archaic aspect of middle eastern culture which is not central to Christian beliefs has harmed the church and society. The church perpetuating patriarchy has contributed to the society perpetuating patriarchy, which is why women don’t have pay equity with men, and they don’t have full decision making power over their bodies, and they don’t have equal treatment in many things in society.

We can look at the story of Joseph and be stirred by the best and worst of the human spirit in the story. We can be moved by the spirit of God at work in the story and the fruits that are borne by faith. We can also reflect on the story and see it’s cultural context and know that the mother is left out of this story. It is an issue of cultural context. And a reminder that in our cultural context, because of our Christian faith and values, we cannot accept male dominance and the subjugation of women.

Prayer
May we have the discernment to see our faith heritage for what it is. May we always be aware of the interplay of culture and religion. May we work to perpetuate the values of Jesus in our context even when that means challenging what has long been accepted. Amen.

“Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, ‘What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong what we did to him?’” Genesis 50:15

Decades after Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, they have encountered him in Egypt. Joseph has disclosed his identity to them. He has given them food to save their lives and invited them and all of their families to come live in Egypt. Joseph’s family have been living in Goshen, raising sheep, in Joseph’s backyard, for years.

Then the father, Jacob, dies in Egypt. And the brothers are afraid that now their brother, Joseph, will turn on them. They are worried and try to come up with a way to gain assurance that he is not harboring a grudge against them.

Once his family has moved to Egypt, Joseph is completely supportive of his family. He has given them no reason to question his sincerity. Why are they so worried about this? I think it is guilt. They still feel guilty about what they did. They are still worrying about it. They are still not out from under their shame and guilt.

When people do something hateful and harmful, there are consequences. Not just immediate consequences to the people involved, but often long term consequences. These consequences are not just to victims but also to perpetrators. Guilt, shame, and regret can linger and fester. This is certainly the case with Joseph’s brothers.

Last year, I was called to jury duty. I ended up spending the day with more than 60 others being considered as potential jurors for a capital case. The judge explained everything and we were questioned one by one about various things. One question was whether or not we could vote for the death penalty in the punishment phase of the trial. There were four of us out of over 60 that said we could not vote for the death penalty. I found this astounding. Here I was sitting in the “pews” in the courtroom with all these other people who were willing to be party to killing someone. They were willing to take responsibility for putting someone to death. I was horrified. I would be tormented the rest of my life knowing that I was part of a process that led to someone being killed. I don’t think I could go through a day without thinking about it. It would haunt me.

We should keep this in mind when we entertain thoughts of doing things that are immoral, hurtful, vengeful, or violent. We should think about residual guilt before we cheat on a test or cheat on a spouse. We should think about guilt when we think about cheating on taxes, stealing something, or saying something damaging and hurtful to someone. We may think that taking revenge or expressing hostility, we will get it out of our system. But we also need to think about the guilt and regret that may very well remain with us.

Prayer
We know that God is all forgiving. We have seen this in Jesus.  May we see the dangerous power of guilt and how it eats away at us.  May we prevent this guilt by following Jesus and may we follow his example of forgiveness when it is needed – for ourselves and others.  Amen.

“Joseph being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers. . . and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. . . ” Genesis 37:2b, NRSV

“Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, ‘What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?’” Genesis 50:15, NRSV

We can well imagine that when Joseph was young and the favored son, he was a spoiled brat. We can imagine him using his status not only to gain favors for himself, but to get his brothers in trouble. It’s no wonder they did not get along and the brothers want to get rid of Joseph.

But through his time as a slave, and as a prisoner, and then as a top administrator in Egypt, Joseph matures. When the time comes, he forgives his brothers. He saves them and their families not only by giving them food but a place to live in Egypt. We do not see Joseph holding a grudge or harboring vengeance, which could very well have been expected considering what was done to him. But Joseph has matured. He conducts himself with authority, wisdom, and compassion.

Hopefully as we make our way through life, we are all maturing. Hopefully we grow in a sense of our own authenticity and then function with more assuredness and authority that is consistent with who we are. Hopefully, as we see more of life, we gain some wisdom as time goes on and that helps us to grow and mature. And the more suffering we see in life, our own lives and that of others, hopefully, the more compassionate we become.

We should not expect to respond to things the same way when we are in our teens, our twenties, our thirties, our sixties, our eighties. Hopefully all along life’s journey, we are learning and growing and maturing in character and faith. Life experience is a wonderful teacher if we are eager students. And often it takes all of those lessons to help us through the challenges of later life.

And just as we should expect growth in ourselves, we should also expect growth from those around us including family and friends. We should not expect the same kind of response from a sister who is 60 that we got from that sister when she was 16. We should be giving her room to grow and mature and develop in her sense of self, in her wisdom, and in compassion. And we should want to affirm the growth and change that we see in others. That will be a sign of our growth and development.

Prayer
The journey of life is a great teacher. May we learn well and continue to grow in integrity, wisdom, and compassion. May we continue to expand our capacity to forgive and to be forgiven. Amen.

“Now the famine was severe in the land. And when they had eaten put he grain that they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, ‘Go again, buy us a little more food.’” Genesis 43:1-2, NRSV

Jacob was adamant that he would not let his sons take the youngest son, Benjamin, to Egypt to retrieve Simeon. No way. Case closed. But now they have run out of food. And there is food in Egypt. If Jacob wants food, so keep living, and to sustain his family, there is only one option. Send his sons, including Benjamin, to Egypt for more food. Jacob must change his mind. He must go against his previous edict.

When a person is hungry, sometimes principles become less important than food. I remember seeing a play many, many years ago, about Adam and Eve. After eating the apple, Adam made some kind of comment about morals being fine as long as your belly is full. If you know this reference, please share the details or the exact quote! But I have never forgotten that idea. Ideals, morals, values, principles, it’s all fine when things are basically “normal.” But in a situation of desperation, sometimes we feel forced to bend.

Sometimes people are stealing to get food for their children. When the plane crashed in the Andes with the soccer team, the survivors ended up eating those who were killed. It was this or die. Someone told me about how her mother, desperate to feed her children, accepted money for sex. No one wants to be in that kind of desperate situation. Yet many people are. In our community, In this country. And in the world. Being aware of this can make us more compassionate and less judgmental. We can consider who to see that help is available to those who need it. We can also work on how we can create communities and societies in which no one is in that kind of situation of extreme hopelessness.

Prayer
Sometimes we may want to relax our values and morals for convenience or greed. We feel tempted to do something we know is wrong because it may be easier for us, it may save us money, no one will find out, so why not? May we remember that there are people around the world and around the corner who are faced with compromising their morals and their values to survive. Maybe even to keep their children alive. May our compassion be stirred so that our faith and our moral commitment lead us to work to eliminate such circumstances. That’s what Jesus would do. Amen.