Category: Kim’s Blog

“And their father Jacob said to them, ‘I am the one you have bereaved of children: Joseph is no more, and Simeon is no more, and now you would take Benjamin. All this has happened to me!’ Then Reuben said to his father, ‘You may kill my two sons if I do not bring him back to you. Put him in my hands, and I will bring him back to you.’ But Jacob said, ‘My son shall not go down with you, for his brother is dead, and he alone is left. If harm should come to him on the journey that you are to make, you would bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to Sheol.’”

When Jacob, who has lost one son, hears that to get his son back from Egypt, he must send his youngest, favored son to Egypt, he refuses. He has lost one son years ago. Now another is in prison in Egypt. He is not about to risk a third son. So, he simply accepts the loss of the second son. He figures better that than loosing two more.

Risk. What is acceptable risk? When are we willing to risk? For what will we risk?

In the political debates around us, we hear talk of sacrifice, but it is not the sacrifice of the candidates themselves. It is risking the lives of others, in the military, for instance. What are they willing to risk their own lives, their own sons and daughters, for?

We think of changes we would like to see. Changes in ourselves. Maybe in our attitudes. Maybe in our behavior. Maybe we would like to be more patient. Or forgiving. Or honest with ourselves. Or compassionate. To make these changes involves risk. We have to give up our old, familiar ways, and we aren’t assured of the outcome.

What are we willing to risk to see that all children in our country are well educated? Are we willing to risk paying more money to teachers? Are we willing to risk holding parents accountable? In some school systems, if the student is late to school three times, the parents are fined. And the fine is not a token. If they won’t pay, are we willing to risk garnishing wages?

What are we willing to risk to eradicate racism, at least systemic racism, in our country? What is it worth to us? What are we willing to invest?

As Jacob saw his situation, he was not willing to risk the life of one son for another. Having lost two sons, he was not willing to risk making it three. The second son was not worth the risk. That’s how he saw it. His son, Reuben, however, was willing to risk the lives of his own two sons to save the live of his brothers.

How do we assess the risks we are willing to take? Sometimes it seems like we are taking risks on the wrong things and playing it safe when we should be risking all.

Prayer
May we have the discernment to know what is really important in life. Jesus was a risk taker. Nothing was too much for the good of others, even his own life. May we value life so much that we, too, are willing to risk our lives. Amen.

“They loaded their donkeys with their grain, and departed.” Genesis 42:26, NRSV

Joseph’s brothers head home with the grain that they were sent to procure. Mission accomplished. But they are going home without one of the brothers. And they are coming home to get the youngest brother, the father’s new favorite, to take back to Joseph in Egypt, who will then release the brother that has been kept in trust.

We can well imagine the conversations on the way home. What are they going to say to their father, and mother, though the mother is not mentioned in the story, about why they have come back one son short? How are they going to account for this arrangement that they are to go back with the favored Benjamin to get back Simeon? They are probably arguing and debating and exploring every avenue for putting this across to their father in a way that he will accept. Yes, they are adults, but they are still sons and owe their devotion to their father and are subject to his authority. No doubt they were panicked and scared about the whole business.

Even when we are adults, we feel the influence of our parents. They may be long dead. We may be fully functioning, independent, successful grownups, and yet our parents are still influencing us. We may not have parents, and their absence may still be shaping us. Parents have an enormous role to play in the development of children. They are crucial to the functioning of society. Parenting is extremely important.

When we become adults, we need to take responsibility for the role that our parents have in our lives. We need to choose what kind of influence they will have over us. I sometimes think to myself, “What would my father want me to do in this situation?” Or “Dad would approve of this.” Or “This is something my father would want me to be part of.” Even though my father has been dead since 2007, I feel he is still having a positive influence in my life and I am grateful. I was fortunate to have a father like that.

As our oldest son became an adult, I told him, “Dad and I did our best raising you. You know that you are loved. Yes, we made lots of mistakes. We probably screwed you up in some ways. But now that you are an adult it’s up to you to straighten things out and become who you want to be.”

Part of the journey as an adult is dealing with whatever our past experience is involving our parents. We can try to look for the good and let that continue to bless us.

Prayer
We are grateful for parents – biological and others who have an important influence on our development. May we choose to see the positive lessons that have been given to us in our upbringing. And may we choose forgiveness when those who have parented us have had a harmful influence. Amen.

“They said to one another, ’Alas, we are paying the penalty for what we did to our brother; we saw his anguish when he pleaded with us, but we would not listen. That is why this anguish has come upon us.’ Then Reuben answered them, ‘Did I not tell you not to wrong the boy? But you would not listen. So now there comes a reckoning for his blood.’ They did not know that Joseph understood them, since he spoke with them through an interpreter.” Genesis 42:21-23, NRSV

Here are Joseph’s brothers agonizing over what they did to their brother many, many years before. And they have no idea that Joseph is there listening and understanding what they are saying. The brothers are in anguish over their guilt. It has hung over them for years. In the heat of the moment, they did something awful. They did not think about how it would torment them for years on end. They did not think about the guilt they would feel. It just looked so satisfying to finally take revenge.

In a recent political debate, the candidates were asked about water-boarding and whether it should be considered torture. Some of the candidates expressed support for water-boarding and more. Do they not think of the toll that such actions take on those who are forced to implement them? What about the soldier, the interrogator, who must carry out the torture? What an awful burden to put on them. Can they ever get over having done such a thing to another human being? Someone who also has a mother and father and a family? Another person who eats and sleeps and sings and prays? How do we get over causing extreme harm to another human being? It’s not easy, whether the person was family, friend, or enemy. Violence and revenge are one thing in theory and quite another in practice.

We think about Joseph and his burden of what has been done to him by his brothers. But there is also the burden borne by the brothers of their shame and guilt and regret. Lent is a time for us to think about the reconciliation we need in our lives. Maybe for something we have done. Maybe for something that has been done to us. Either way, God’s love can be healing.

Prayer
We all have our burdens to bear. We can’t go through this life without sorrow and regret. Because we are human, we make mistakes. We wait too long. We say too little. We miss an opportunity. We make the wrong choice. May we be compassionate with ourselves and with others and tend to the process of healing. We are given Jesus as our guide. Amen.

“Before the years of famine came, Joseph had two sons, whom Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On, bore to him. Joseph named the first born Manasseh, “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father’s house. “ The second he named Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my misfortunes.” Genesis 41: 50-52

Joseph had made peace with his past. He had put it behind him. He was over the torment caused by his brothers. He had laid to rest his bitterness over his enslavement. He had accepted his lot and made the most of it. No looking back. No wonder he is so undone when his brothers appear to buy grain. To Joseph, then may seem to be ghosts.

Sometimes we may work hard at something like overcoming our past. Maybe we were born into unfortunate circumstances and we have struggled to do well in life. Maybe we have made some kind of mistake that has really cost us and we have done everything we can to put it behind us.

Sometimes we may work hard to eliminate a character flaw and we think we are over it. We apply ourselves with self help techniques or therapy or an accountability group. We truly endeavor to eliminate a trait that we see as a flaw and something that is not good for us, those around us, or the world.

Maybe something comes up in a conversation and we realize that something we had resolved is not as resolved as we thought. “I thought I was over that,” we may think as we stew about something. We feel blindsided. Taken by surprise.

Maybe we have applied ourselves to dealing with an addiction and we think we are steady in our recovery only to find ourselves using again. How did that happen?

We think we’ve made progress and then life happens. And we’re taken aback. It is time to regroup. To examine where we are as opposed to where we thought we were. These are opportunities to become more whole and more compassionate toward ourselves and others. God is not finished with us – yet!

Prayer
We are grateful for our faith and for the way of Jesus and how we are encouraged to grow throughout our life’s journey. May we look for the lessons and learnings that life is bringing to us. God is always moving us toward reconciliation and love. Amen.

“But Joseph said to his brothers, ‘It is just as I have said to you; you are spies! Here is how you shall be tested: as Pharaoh lives, you shall not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here! Let one of you go and bring your brother, while the rest of you remain in prison, in order that your words may be tested, whether there is truth in you; or else as Pharaoh lives, surely you are spies.’ And he put them all together in prison for three days.” Genesis. 42: 14-17, NRSV

The drought brings together Joseph and his brothers who wanted to kill him when he was younger. They have not seen each other for years. I think it is pretty safe to say that they did not expect to see each other again. Ever.

But the brothers come to Egypt because they are starving due to the drought. Thanks to Joseph, Egypt has stockpiled grain. So the brothers have come to Egypt for grain. And Joseph is the gatekeeper. So, they go to him, directly, face to face, to ask for the grain. They don’t recognize Joseph. They think they are simply dealing with the premier vizier of Egypt. And they are deferential because they really want the grain.

But Joesph recognizes the brothers. He knows exactly who they are. Unimaginable as it is, here they are. And what does he do? After all of that time? His brothers? He stalls. He concocts one scheme after another to string them along without telling them who he is.

Is he just trying to be mean to them? They are afraid because their lives are dependent on Egypt’s grain. I think Joseph stalls because he needs time to think this through. It is such a shock. I think his first reaction, and it is a good one, is to buy some time so he can sort this out. Does he want to reconcile with them? Does he want to let them know who he is? Does he want to harass them and get back at them? He needs time to explore his feelings and consider his actions.

We like things fast in today’s world. We are used to virtually instant responses to things. Read an email, send one back. Read an article or blog on line and weigh in with your opinion right away. Take care of business. Express yourself. Maybe there is something to be said for a more measured approach to things. Sometimes weighty matters need time. We need to sort out our feelings. Explore what we want to do that will be consistent with our faith and values. Our first impulse may not be our best impulse. Taking time with something can help us to make a healthier, more compassionate and loving response.

We don’t have to create machinations like Joseph did. We can simply say, “I need some time to think about that.”

Prayer
We want to do the right thing. We want to be loving and work for peace. May we take the time to be thoughtful and look for paths that lead us to greater peace and reconciliation. We may not see those paths at first. It may take time for them to emerge. May we apply ourselves to thoughtful, intentional reflection. Amen.