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“Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, ‘What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong what we did to him?’” Genesis 50:15

Decades after Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, they have encountered him in Egypt. Joseph has disclosed his identity to them. He has given them food to save their lives and invited them and all of their families to come live in Egypt. Joseph’s family have been living in Goshen, raising sheep, in Joseph’s backyard, for years.

Then the father, Jacob, dies in Egypt. And the brothers are afraid that now their brother, Joseph, will turn on them. They are worried and try to come up with a way to gain assurance that he is not harboring a grudge against them.

Once his family has moved to Egypt, Joseph is completely supportive of his family. He has given them no reason to question his sincerity. Why are they so worried about this? I think it is guilt. They still feel guilty about what they did. They are still worrying about it. They are still not out from under their shame and guilt.

When people do something hateful and harmful, there are consequences. Not just immediate consequences to the people involved, but often long term consequences. These consequences are not just to victims but also to perpetrators. Guilt, shame, and regret can linger and fester. This is certainly the case with Joseph’s brothers.

Last year, I was called to jury duty. I ended up spending the day with more than 60 others being considered as potential jurors for a capital case. The judge explained everything and we were questioned one by one about various things. One question was whether or not we could vote for the death penalty in the punishment phase of the trial. There were four of us out of over 60 that said we could not vote for the death penalty. I found this astounding. Here I was sitting in the “pews” in the courtroom with all these other people who were willing to be party to killing someone. They were willing to take responsibility for putting someone to death. I was horrified. I would be tormented the rest of my life knowing that I was part of a process that led to someone being killed. I don’t think I could go through a day without thinking about it. It would haunt me.

We should keep this in mind when we entertain thoughts of doing things that are immoral, hurtful, vengeful, or violent. We should think about residual guilt before we cheat on a test or cheat on a spouse. We should think about guilt when we think about cheating on taxes, stealing something, or saying something damaging and hurtful to someone. We may think that taking revenge or expressing hostility, we will get it out of our system. But we also need to think about the guilt and regret that may very well remain with us.

Prayer
We know that God is all forgiving. We have seen this in Jesus.  May we see the dangerous power of guilt and how it eats away at us.  May we prevent this guilt by following Jesus and may we follow his example of forgiveness when it is needed – for ourselves and others.  Amen.

“Joseph being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers. . . and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. . . ” Genesis 37:2b, NRSV

“Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, ‘What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?’” Genesis 50:15, NRSV

We can well imagine that when Joseph was young and the favored son, he was a spoiled brat. We can imagine him using his status not only to gain favors for himself, but to get his brothers in trouble. It’s no wonder they did not get along and the brothers want to get rid of Joseph.

But through his time as a slave, and as a prisoner, and then as a top administrator in Egypt, Joseph matures. When the time comes, he forgives his brothers. He saves them and their families not only by giving them food but a place to live in Egypt. We do not see Joseph holding a grudge or harboring vengeance, which could very well have been expected considering what was done to him. But Joseph has matured. He conducts himself with authority, wisdom, and compassion.

Hopefully as we make our way through life, we are all maturing. Hopefully we grow in a sense of our own authenticity and then function with more assuredness and authority that is consistent with who we are. Hopefully, as we see more of life, we gain some wisdom as time goes on and that helps us to grow and mature. And the more suffering we see in life, our own lives and that of others, hopefully, the more compassionate we become.

We should not expect to respond to things the same way when we are in our teens, our twenties, our thirties, our sixties, our eighties. Hopefully all along life’s journey, we are learning and growing and maturing in character and faith. Life experience is a wonderful teacher if we are eager students. And often it takes all of those lessons to help us through the challenges of later life.

And just as we should expect growth in ourselves, we should also expect growth from those around us including family and friends. We should not expect the same kind of response from a sister who is 60 that we got from that sister when she was 16. We should be giving her room to grow and mature and develop in her sense of self, in her wisdom, and in compassion. And we should want to affirm the growth and change that we see in others. That will be a sign of our growth and development.

Prayer
The journey of life is a great teacher. May we learn well and continue to grow in integrity, wisdom, and compassion. May we continue to expand our capacity to forgive and to be forgiven. Amen.

“Now the famine was severe in the land. And when they had eaten put he grain that they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, ‘Go again, buy us a little more food.’” Genesis 43:1-2, NRSV

Jacob was adamant that he would not let his sons take the youngest son, Benjamin, to Egypt to retrieve Simeon. No way. Case closed. But now they have run out of food. And there is food in Egypt. If Jacob wants food, so keep living, and to sustain his family, there is only one option. Send his sons, including Benjamin, to Egypt for more food. Jacob must change his mind. He must go against his previous edict.

When a person is hungry, sometimes principles become less important than food. I remember seeing a play many, many years ago, about Adam and Eve. After eating the apple, Adam made some kind of comment about morals being fine as long as your belly is full. If you know this reference, please share the details or the exact quote! But I have never forgotten that idea. Ideals, morals, values, principles, it’s all fine when things are basically “normal.” But in a situation of desperation, sometimes we feel forced to bend.

Sometimes people are stealing to get food for their children. When the plane crashed in the Andes with the soccer team, the survivors ended up eating those who were killed. It was this or die. Someone told me about how her mother, desperate to feed her children, accepted money for sex. No one wants to be in that kind of desperate situation. Yet many people are. In our community, In this country. And in the world. Being aware of this can make us more compassionate and less judgmental. We can consider who to see that help is available to those who need it. We can also work on how we can create communities and societies in which no one is in that kind of situation of extreme hopelessness.

Prayer
Sometimes we may want to relax our values and morals for convenience or greed. We feel tempted to do something we know is wrong because it may be easier for us, it may save us money, no one will find out, so why not? May we remember that there are people around the world and around the corner who are faced with compromising their morals and their values to survive. Maybe even to keep their children alive. May our compassion be stirred so that our faith and our moral commitment lead us to work to eliminate such circumstances. That’s what Jesus would do. Amen.

“And their father Jacob said to them, ‘I am the one you have bereaved of children: Joseph is no more, and Simeon is no more, and now you would take Benjamin. All this has happened to me!’ Then Reuben said to his father, ‘You may kill my two sons if I do not bring him back to you. Put him in my hands, and I will bring him back to you.’ But Jacob said, ‘My son shall not go down with you, for his brother is dead, and he alone is left. If harm should come to him on the journey that you are to make, you would bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to Sheol.’”

When Jacob, who has lost one son, hears that to get his son back from Egypt, he must send his youngest, favored son to Egypt, he refuses. He has lost one son years ago. Now another is in prison in Egypt. He is not about to risk a third son. So, he simply accepts the loss of the second son. He figures better that than loosing two more.

Risk. What is acceptable risk? When are we willing to risk? For what will we risk?

In the political debates around us, we hear talk of sacrifice, but it is not the sacrifice of the candidates themselves. It is risking the lives of others, in the military, for instance. What are they willing to risk their own lives, their own sons and daughters, for?

We think of changes we would like to see. Changes in ourselves. Maybe in our attitudes. Maybe in our behavior. Maybe we would like to be more patient. Or forgiving. Or honest with ourselves. Or compassionate. To make these changes involves risk. We have to give up our old, familiar ways, and we aren’t assured of the outcome.

What are we willing to risk to see that all children in our country are well educated? Are we willing to risk paying more money to teachers? Are we willing to risk holding parents accountable? In some school systems, if the student is late to school three times, the parents are fined. And the fine is not a token. If they won’t pay, are we willing to risk garnishing wages?

What are we willing to risk to eradicate racism, at least systemic racism, in our country? What is it worth to us? What are we willing to invest?

As Jacob saw his situation, he was not willing to risk the life of one son for another. Having lost two sons, he was not willing to risk making it three. The second son was not worth the risk. That’s how he saw it. His son, Reuben, however, was willing to risk the lives of his own two sons to save the live of his brothers.

How do we assess the risks we are willing to take? Sometimes it seems like we are taking risks on the wrong things and playing it safe when we should be risking all.

Prayer
May we have the discernment to know what is really important in life. Jesus was a risk taker. Nothing was too much for the good of others, even his own life. May we value life so much that we, too, are willing to risk our lives. Amen.

“They loaded their donkeys with their grain, and departed.” Genesis 42:26, NRSV

Joseph’s brothers head home with the grain that they were sent to procure. Mission accomplished. But they are going home without one of the brothers. And they are coming home to get the youngest brother, the father’s new favorite, to take back to Joseph in Egypt, who will then release the brother that has been kept in trust.

We can well imagine the conversations on the way home. What are they going to say to their father, and mother, though the mother is not mentioned in the story, about why they have come back one son short? How are they going to account for this arrangement that they are to go back with the favored Benjamin to get back Simeon? They are probably arguing and debating and exploring every avenue for putting this across to their father in a way that he will accept. Yes, they are adults, but they are still sons and owe their devotion to their father and are subject to his authority. No doubt they were panicked and scared about the whole business.

Even when we are adults, we feel the influence of our parents. They may be long dead. We may be fully functioning, independent, successful grownups, and yet our parents are still influencing us. We may not have parents, and their absence may still be shaping us. Parents have an enormous role to play in the development of children. They are crucial to the functioning of society. Parenting is extremely important.

When we become adults, we need to take responsibility for the role that our parents have in our lives. We need to choose what kind of influence they will have over us. I sometimes think to myself, “What would my father want me to do in this situation?” Or “Dad would approve of this.” Or “This is something my father would want me to be part of.” Even though my father has been dead since 2007, I feel he is still having a positive influence in my life and I am grateful. I was fortunate to have a father like that.

As our oldest son became an adult, I told him, “Dad and I did our best raising you. You know that you are loved. Yes, we made lots of mistakes. We probably screwed you up in some ways. But now that you are an adult it’s up to you to straighten things out and become who you want to be.”

Part of the journey as an adult is dealing with whatever our past experience is involving our parents. We can try to look for the good and let that continue to bless us.

Prayer
We are grateful for parents – biological and others who have an important influence on our development. May we choose to see the positive lessons that have been given to us in our upbringing. And may we choose forgiveness when those who have parented us have had a harmful influence. Amen.