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“They said to one another, ’Alas, we are paying the penalty for what we did to our brother; we saw his anguish when he pleaded with us, but we would not listen. That is why this anguish has come upon us.’ Then Reuben answered them, ‘Did I not tell you not to wrong the boy? But you would not listen. So now there comes a reckoning for his blood.’ They did not know that Joseph understood them, since he spoke with them through an interpreter.” Genesis 42:21-23, NRSV

Here are Joseph’s brothers agonizing over what they did to their brother many, many years before. And they have no idea that Joseph is there listening and understanding what they are saying. The brothers are in anguish over their guilt. It has hung over them for years. In the heat of the moment, they did something awful. They did not think about how it would torment them for years on end. They did not think about the guilt they would feel. It just looked so satisfying to finally take revenge.

In a recent political debate, the candidates were asked about water-boarding and whether it should be considered torture. Some of the candidates expressed support for water-boarding and more. Do they not think of the toll that such actions take on those who are forced to implement them? What about the soldier, the interrogator, who must carry out the torture? What an awful burden to put on them. Can they ever get over having done such a thing to another human being? Someone who also has a mother and father and a family? Another person who eats and sleeps and sings and prays? How do we get over causing extreme harm to another human being? It’s not easy, whether the person was family, friend, or enemy. Violence and revenge are one thing in theory and quite another in practice.

We think about Joseph and his burden of what has been done to him by his brothers. But there is also the burden borne by the brothers of their shame and guilt and regret. Lent is a time for us to think about the reconciliation we need in our lives. Maybe for something we have done. Maybe for something that has been done to us. Either way, God’s love can be healing.

Prayer
We all have our burdens to bear. We can’t go through this life without sorrow and regret. Because we are human, we make mistakes. We wait too long. We say too little. We miss an opportunity. We make the wrong choice. May we be compassionate with ourselves and with others and tend to the process of healing. We are given Jesus as our guide. Amen.

“Before the years of famine came, Joseph had two sons, whom Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On, bore to him. Joseph named the first born Manasseh, “For,” he said, “God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father’s house. “ The second he named Ephraim, “For God has made me fruitful in the land of my misfortunes.” Genesis 41: 50-52

Joseph had made peace with his past. He had put it behind him. He was over the torment caused by his brothers. He had laid to rest his bitterness over his enslavement. He had accepted his lot and made the most of it. No looking back. No wonder he is so undone when his brothers appear to buy grain. To Joseph, then may seem to be ghosts.

Sometimes we may work hard at something like overcoming our past. Maybe we were born into unfortunate circumstances and we have struggled to do well in life. Maybe we have made some kind of mistake that has really cost us and we have done everything we can to put it behind us.

Sometimes we may work hard to eliminate a character flaw and we think we are over it. We apply ourselves with self help techniques or therapy or an accountability group. We truly endeavor to eliminate a trait that we see as a flaw and something that is not good for us, those around us, or the world.

Maybe something comes up in a conversation and we realize that something we had resolved is not as resolved as we thought. “I thought I was over that,” we may think as we stew about something. We feel blindsided. Taken by surprise.

Maybe we have applied ourselves to dealing with an addiction and we think we are steady in our recovery only to find ourselves using again. How did that happen?

We think we’ve made progress and then life happens. And we’re taken aback. It is time to regroup. To examine where we are as opposed to where we thought we were. These are opportunities to become more whole and more compassionate toward ourselves and others. God is not finished with us – yet!

Prayer
We are grateful for our faith and for the way of Jesus and how we are encouraged to grow throughout our life’s journey. May we look for the lessons and learnings that life is bringing to us. God is always moving us toward reconciliation and love. Amen.

“But Joseph said to his brothers, ‘It is just as I have said to you; you are spies! Here is how you shall be tested: as Pharaoh lives, you shall not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here! Let one of you go and bring your brother, while the rest of you remain in prison, in order that your words may be tested, whether there is truth in you; or else as Pharaoh lives, surely you are spies.’ And he put them all together in prison for three days.” Genesis. 42: 14-17, NRSV

The drought brings together Joseph and his brothers who wanted to kill him when he was younger. They have not seen each other for years. I think it is pretty safe to say that they did not expect to see each other again. Ever.

But the brothers come to Egypt because they are starving due to the drought. Thanks to Joseph, Egypt has stockpiled grain. So the brothers have come to Egypt for grain. And Joseph is the gatekeeper. So, they go to him, directly, face to face, to ask for the grain. They don’t recognize Joseph. They think they are simply dealing with the premier vizier of Egypt. And they are deferential because they really want the grain.

But Joesph recognizes the brothers. He knows exactly who they are. Unimaginable as it is, here they are. And what does he do? After all of that time? His brothers? He stalls. He concocts one scheme after another to string them along without telling them who he is.

Is he just trying to be mean to them? They are afraid because their lives are dependent on Egypt’s grain. I think Joseph stalls because he needs time to think this through. It is such a shock. I think his first reaction, and it is a good one, is to buy some time so he can sort this out. Does he want to reconcile with them? Does he want to let them know who he is? Does he want to harass them and get back at them? He needs time to explore his feelings and consider his actions.

We like things fast in today’s world. We are used to virtually instant responses to things. Read an email, send one back. Read an article or blog on line and weigh in with your opinion right away. Take care of business. Express yourself. Maybe there is something to be said for a more measured approach to things. Sometimes weighty matters need time. We need to sort out our feelings. Explore what we want to do that will be consistent with our faith and values. Our first impulse may not be our best impulse. Taking time with something can help us to make a healthier, more compassionate and loving response.

We don’t have to create machinations like Joseph did. We can simply say, “I need some time to think about that.”

Prayer
We want to do the right thing. We want to be loving and work for peace. May we take the time to be thoughtful and look for paths that lead us to greater peace and reconciliation. We may not see those paths at first. It may take time for them to emerge. May we apply ourselves to thoughtful, intentional reflection. Amen.

“Now Joseph was governor over the land; it was he who sold to all the people of the land. And Joseph’s brothers came and bowed themselves before him with their faces to the ground. When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he treated them like strangers and spoke harshly to them. ‘Where do you come from?’ he said. They said, ‘From the land of Canaan, to buy food.’ Although Joseph had recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. Joseph also remembered the dreams that he had dreamed about them.” Genesis 42:6-9a, NRSV

When Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt for grain, and he saw them, and recognized them, we can imagine that his world was rocked. The ground shifted for him. His reality was suddenly redefined.

For people alive today, it seems like reality is constantly shifting and changing. People are unsettled and anxious. There is so much change and it is happening so fast. Within just a few years, less than 50% of the population of the US will be of European descent. That’s a drastic shift. Sea level rise continues apace and many homes and beaches that we now enjoy will be gone in our lifetimes. That’s another huge adjustment. If you don’t use the internet, you are almost excluded from participating in mainstream society, and you certainly are at a disadvantage for everything from getting a job to buying a car to healthcare. Change. Change. Change.

I have recently heard about a book by Rebecca Traister called All The Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation. This book examines the changing landscape for women in the US given that as of 2009 less than half of the women in the US were married. That’s a huge shift in the social fabric of America. There are all kinds of implications about the greater options for women, having children without getting married, the decreasing stigma of being an “old maid.” It’s great that women are gaining more freedom and equality.

But this new trend also has implications for men. Heterosexual men have been socialized to get married and have a family. They have been shaped to think of themselves as breadwinners for their families. Stay at home dads have made an impact but have not become common. Now with less women choosing marriage, what happens to the men who want to choose marriage, but have a smaller pool of partners to choose from? Less women marrying changes the social landscape for men. So, they need to adjust to changes in their world. As the mother of two sons, white men, I see all the changes that they are dealing with as society shifts around them.

As we see our world rocked and our reality shifting in many ways, we want to remember that others are having similar experiences. It is a time to be compassionate toward one another in this country and around the world. It is a time to focus on understanding and reaching out to see the perspectives of others. We are all having our adjustment problems. It is not a time to be “me” focussed and only see our own anxieties. While disturbing, these changes can also bring us together. Change may be difficult but it also means that we are alive, and we hope, that we are progressing toward a more egalitarian, peaceful world.

Prayer
Life is changing so fast. We seem to face one transition after another. It is easy to want to stop time, go back, to what was more familiar and comfortable and solid for us. As our reality shifts may we look for how it brings us closer to others, may we look for common bonds. May we look to all the possibilities of the future and new things that Love is birthing. Amen.

“When Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt, he said to his sons, ‘Why do you keep looking at one another? I have heard,’ he said, ‘that there is grain in Egypt; go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.’ . . . Thus the sons of Israel were among the other people who came to buy grain, for the famine had reached the land of Canaan.” Genesis 42: 1-3, 5, NRSV

And so we learn that through the drought Joseph and his family are going to intersect again. They are going to encounter one another. The brothers who sold Joseph into slavery are going to see that very brother.

Going to Egypt, the brothers are probably worrying about the drought. They are stressed about the lack of food. Do they have the money needed to buy grain? Are they in danger of being robbed on the way there or on the way back? Will the Egyptians sell to them as foreigners or will they keep all of their grain to sustain their own people? We can imagine the many concerns and worries that the brothers talk about on their way to Egypt. Chances are they are NOT thinking or talking about Joseph, unless they pass the pit that they put him in on their way to Egypt. Even so, we would imagine that Joseph was but a dim memory to his brothers.

It is the drought, a devastating lack of rain, a killing cataclysm, that leads to the encounter between Joseph and his brothers. It is often tragedy or hardship that brings people together. A death in the family may bring many relatives together. People who have not seen each other in years. Perhaps people who have not spoken in decades. Maybe family members who have parted company in a hostile manner will be thrown together. A natural disaster can bring unlikely parties together. Maybe the homes of rich and poor alike have been devastated by a tornado and the people are thrown together to work on the clean up. Maybe white police officers and black citizens alike are killed in a mass shooting and the families and community are all brought together in their grief.

The question remains: How to respond? Take the opportunity to reconcile? Seek common ground? Share the pain? Allow our common humanity to bring us together? Or maintain hostilities. Keep the wall up. Perpetuate the alienation. These are the choices that may face us when we encounter those from whom we are estranged.

As we will see, Joseph seems to need some time to think the whole thing through. He is so taken aback at the sight of his brothers. The tables have turned. He holds their lives in his hands. What will he do?

Prayer
All people suffer. All people experience alienation from others and from their true selves. Sometimes extreme circumstances can provide the opportunity for us to pursue reconciliation and wholeness. Sometimes a broken heart lets the love out. Sometimes pain exposes our vulnerability and healing can ensue. May our eyes be open to see possibilities for reconciliation. Amen.